So Far Away From Me
by Fallen Saint
Summary: A musical Duo pining over a fan, Heero....extremely AU, just for fun. songfic. i tried so hard..


shonen-ai!   
i don't own the bishies, but we love to play ^~  
this is very, very, very AU. Very!  
The song is Across the Sea, by weezer, a most excellent group. =w=  
  
  
So Far Away From Me  
  
  
[You are 18 year old girl  
Who live in small city of Japan  
And you heard me on the radio  
About one year ago  
And you wanted to know  
All about me and my hobbies  
My favorite food and my birthday]  
  
Duo sighed as he flopped down on the little bed. Yes, everyone adored him. Throngs of fans had to be held back every night at his concerts. He made it big, surprisingly, with his first release. His managers told him that it was his unpolished edginess that attracted the fans. He was one of a kind, not mass-produced, an artist with substance! Yeah, right, he thought. He enjoyed music, he played it, and then, for some strange reason, he was thrust into a world of non-stop touring, annoying groupies, and lame interviews. He always enjoyed the attention he received from his old local following, but this new type of attention was ridiculous. So here he was again, crammed into his small bedroom in the tour bus. Sleep wasn't his friend these days, so he spent the time leafing through the ever-growing stack of fan mail. After all, it was the letters that gave him some sort of will to continue the madness.   
  
He randomly picked one out and looked at the envelope. //Heh, from Japan? I didn't think there was a market out there for my stuff yet.// The blatantly masculine handwriting on the address intrigued him even more. The star was used to receiving letters in big, bubbly, feminine handwriting, gushing about how cute he was, and how this song or that song changed her life forever, and so on. He carefully pulled the envelope apart and spread its contents to the edge of the bed, under the only light in the space.  
  
Duo-  
  
My cousin and I heard one of your songs a while back, and we enjoyed it. I don't normally like music, but that song was pretty good. I normally don't write fan mail either. It's a waste of time and an embarrassment. But I can't get that song out of my head. My cousin says that you have the most glamorous life going, with parties, photo-ops, fame, attention, and a pick of any girl you'd like. Somehow I don't think she's correct. All I'd like to know is what do you really like to do? What really makes you happy?  
Here's a picture of my cousin, she made me include it. If you ask me, she's delusional.   
  
Sincerely,  
  
Heero Yuy   
  
Duo's eyes practically popped out of his head. This was the strangest letter he had ever received. Was it actually praise? He didn't even mention the name of the song he enjoyed. And what an odd question; it almost sent chills down his spine. It was as if the letter saw right through him. //this is really creepy, geez..// He pushed the letter off the bed and noticed the photo. It was some type of new polaroid, with a decent looking blonde girl in the forefront. She was obviously wearing too much make-up, and her smile was quite saccharine, but she seemed innocent enough. His eyes quickly diverted to the boy in the background. Half his face was blocked by the girl, and the picture was of a poor quality to begin with, but the boy was still strikingly attractive. Dark brown hair; steely blue eyes...er, eye; sculpted face. Duo unknowingly licked his lips in approval. He looked to the bottom margin, where written in big curly effeminate writing was "Relena," with hearts and stars adorning it. On the bottom right corner, in the same girly writing, only much smaller was, "and Heero." Duo immediately picked up the letter and placed it next to the picture, as if the two being together again would conjure up something more. Somehow this handsome boy had seen past the showiness and the glitz. But because of the industry, there was nothing more past that. They hadn't taken the time nor did they care about projecting the real Duo. //So that's why he had to ask. Heh, he seems pretty smart, I guess..// Duo carefully returned the letter to its former state and stuck in under the base of the lamp. //This one's a keeper.// Amazingly, Duo Maxwell slept soundly that night.   
  
[Why are you so far away from me?  
I need help and you're way across the sea]  
  
Duo continued his rigorous schedule, performing to nearly sold-out crowds every night. He transformed himself into the stage presence that the fans had come to know and love, furiously playing his guitar, swaying his braid, winking at the girls in the front rows with those amazing amethyst eyes. Yet throughout that leg of the tour, all his spare moments of thought went to the letter. He guiltily reread it every night before going to bed, finding it sort of a comfort that at least someone out there saw past the façade.   
  
[I could never touch you  
I think it would be wrong  
I've got your letter  
You've got my song ]  
  
He had now tacked the polaroid up on the wall he used to hang various photos of crazy things that happened during his time on the road. To him, the girl wasn't even in the picture. It was only Heero, calmly staring at him. Duo had come to terms a long time ago about what was attractive to him, and he definitely knew that Heero was hot stuff. //Man, he would be repulsed if he ever found out that I thought he was hot. Why am I obsessing over this so much? Fans write all the time. But not all of them are that engaging..Damn, you're doing it again! Well..I enjoy his letter; he enjoys my song. We should be equal.//   
  
[They don't make stationery like this where I'm from  
So fragile, so refined  
So I sniff and I lick your envelope  
And fall to little pieces every time]  
  
Duo fingered the letter yet again, feeling the smooth grain soothe his callused skin. He ran his fingers over the perfect rigid penmanship and looked up to icy blue eyes adorning his wall. Then it dawned on him..why didn't he just write back? He never really had the chance to personally respond to any letters in the past, he regretfully had to leave it in the hands of cold spokespeople. //First time for everything..// He gulped, searching through piles of magazines and tour info for a blank sheet of paper and something to write with. //Here goes..//  
  
Heero-  
  
I received your letter a while ago. It was a breath of fresh air to get feedback from a guy, even though your cousin squirmed in.   
You asked what made me happy. Truth be known, I really don't know anymore. The basics are easy: music, pizza, basketball. Somehow I don't think that answer will suffice for you, so all I can say is that I don't know.  
  
Tell your cousin she's cute (for the sake of a fan). Couldn't help but notice you were in the picture too. Oh, and by the way, you never mentioned which song it was that you enjoyed so much. It'd be interesting to know what they're releasing out in Japan.  
  
Thanks for writing.  
  
Rock on,  
  
Duo Maxwell  
  
He eyed the letter carefully for any little thing that could give him away. If this fell into the wrong hands, the media would surely ruin him. He contemplated this for a few moments and then hastily placed a stamp on the envelope and shoved it in his out-going mail box.  
  
[I wonder what clothes you wear to school  
I wonder how you decorate your room  
I wonder how you touch yourself  
And curse myself for being across the sea]  
  
Duo laid back on his bed, staring at the half picture on the wall. When he was this tired, this worn out, he would often find himself start to daydream. He could see Heero, or at least the Heero he had made up in his mind, standing in his imaginary room, with his perfect fake school uniform, doing his homework diligently. He just looked to be that type of guy. He pictured himself standing in the doorway unnoticed, watching the enigma work. Then Heero would rise his head from his paper with a single thought of Duo. His eyes would turn to lust and his hand would creep further and further down to his..   
  
[Why are you so far away from me?  
I need help and you're way across the sea]  
  
"Duo, what the hell are you doing, you're on in five!" came the familiar yell. He broke from his reverie, crimson from shame. He dashed off to the arena, hearing the shouts of all the people who expected him to be Duo Maxwell that night.  
  
[I could never touch you  
I think it would be wrong  
I've got your letter  
You've got my song]  
  
Three more grueling nights passed before his two day break came. He went to the usual parties, hung out with the usual crowd, attempted to do the usual things. He could hear crew members mumble behind his back about how that braided kid hasn't had a woman in his bus for a week and a half now, what a pussy. He rolled his eyes and headed back to his familiar little room. He plopped down on the bed yet again, only this time to see a little green envelope sitting on top of a pile of fanmail. He casually picked up the item to see the same tense handwriting that propelled him into wet dreams just a while ago. He carefully broke the seal, savoring the moment before he took out the contents.  
  
Duo-  
  
I didn't think that big stars were supposed to write back.  
  
I think it's sad that you don't know what makes you happy. Why aren't you fulfilled now? There's something more to you, I suppose.  
  
My cousin and I like "Resonance."  
  
Here's a picture of me. I'm tired of her stepping in.  
  
-Heero  
  
//A picture?! Where!// Duo fumbled with the envelope until the item in question fell out. There staring at him was the entire face of the utterly gorgeous boy. He wore a white tee shirt and jeans, sitting on his bed with a glare that made it seem like he was caught in a candid moment. He was..he was perfect. Duo was shocked that he responded, let alone send another picture. Could he maybe, possible, remotely be interested somehow? Duo doubted it, but still.. He glanced at the song title, trying to recall the lyrics to his sleepy mind. //resonant..your words, they aren't for me but they feel like me..resonance...you're just like me but still can't see..// He felt a smile come to his lips. Yes, these letters may be strange, and this situation may be even stranger. But something inside him told him to pursue, and he wasn't one to back down.   
  
[At 10 I shaved my head and tried to be a monk  
I thought the older women would like me if I did  
You see, ma, I'm a good little boy  
It's all your fault, momma, it's all your fault]  
  
He threw everything he learned about the business out the window. This could get him in a lot of trouble, break his nice little untarnished bond with the record company if it ever found out. //Who cares!// he quickly scribbled a note back to Heero, throwing in a couple of tickets and a backstage pass. In a month they would make a tour stop in Japan, and he wasn't going to miss out. He felt good. He was breaking the rules again, just like a kid. He liked this new found defiance, and promptly sent the letter out.  
  
[Goddamn, this business is really lame  
I gotta live on an island to find the juice  
So you send me your love from all around the world]  
  
So he waited. And waited. And waited. No reply from Heero. Time continued to pass, way too slowly for Duo. He didn't even feel like he was present at any of his shows. He was someone else, a mask, and just put on an unfeeling act that still seemed to please the audience. And every night he would skip all the parties and go straight to his room to fawn over the picture of Heero Yuy and contemplate the stupidity of his decision. //So I have to be alone, eh?// he could feel himself get angrier and angrier at what he was about to do next.  
  
[As if I could live on words and dreams and a million screams  
Oh how I need a hand in mine, to feel]  
  
He cried. He felt he tears stream down his face and the dry convulsions rise from his chest. He was so alone. There thousands and thousands of people around him who said they adored him, but he was alone. All he could picture was Heero. All he could think about was Heero. All he needed was..Heero.   
  
[Why are you so far away from me?  
Why are you so far away from me?  
I could never touch you  
I think it would be wrong  
I've got your letter  
You've got my song  
I've got your letter  
You've got my song]  
  
Duo looked nervously over the screaming Tokyo crowd. He never felt this way about a show before. He patted the two letters he received from Heero that were resting safely in his pocket. He inhaled deeply and screamed out his greeting to the crowd and began the act. He felt his knees weaken at the thought of possibly being in the same area as the object of his desire. In fact, he felt faint. He blinked and tried to continue the set, feebly strumming along, until he caught a pair of steely blue eyes in the middle of the crowd. Suddenly he felt the rush of energy return to him. He felt bathed in reassurance and "rocked on." The critics said it was his best show ever.  
  
And he felt it too.  
  
  
phew, that was tough to finish. yeah, there will be a sequal, god willing, if my new teachers don't kill me. 


End file.
